Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
