She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize