Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
please don't ironically join a cult
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