Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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