when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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