What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
