dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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