He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
