im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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