Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You work out of a Hotel?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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