I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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