Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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