I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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