yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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