Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
