Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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