it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
