Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
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you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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