I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
