READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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