I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
