I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.