Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.