Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.