At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
