Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize