Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
