just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
it glows. i had to have it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.