margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?