i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's shark week go big or go home
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.