hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon