what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize