there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
