You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
