# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
