drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
