dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am naked and annoyed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
