i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
