Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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