Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
