Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
