I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
