tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
