Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize