I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
