with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
