Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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