Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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