My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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