I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
