i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
worst night to have a conscience
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
