I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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