Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
