Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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