i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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