I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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