His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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