Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
