Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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  (336): well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you. http://tfl.nu/poyo
  Replies (12) Good night (2310) Bad night (702)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

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  (573): how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain? http://tfl.nu/ptj1
  Replies (7) Good night (3224) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.

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  (828): Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy. (1-828): Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid. http://tfl.nu/eif0
  Replies (8) Good night (625) Bad night (3536)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

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  (724): You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake. http://tfl.nu/kf3k
  Replies (22) Good night (5483) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

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  (512): We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos. http://tfl.nu/fazf
  Replies (6) Good night (2516) Bad night (1771)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.

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  (330): literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs. http://tfl.nu/r48u
  Replies (11) Good night (2677) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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  (315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc
  Replies (7) Good night (1422) Bad night (2258)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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  (501): I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet. http://tfl.nu/tfvj
  Replies (8) Good night (1633) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"

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  (843): My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF" http://tfl.nu/1req
  Replies (16) Good night (2411) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.

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  (941): He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud. http://tfl.nu/s98m
  Replies (16) Good night (2294) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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  (515): You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it. http://tfl.nu/eptf
  Replies (6) Good night (1922) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.

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  (541): Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life. http://tfl.nu/7mk5
  Replies (18) Good night (697) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

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  (434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72
  Replies (6) Good night (2034) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No promises

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  (248): Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year. (313): No promises http://tfl.nu/55qj
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.

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  (601): Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life. http://tfl.nu/h9xw
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (189)

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