Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
