he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
