He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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