I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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