remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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