if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
