Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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