Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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