Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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