When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
