I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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