how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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