How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize