I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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