I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
