wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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