My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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