Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
